The Beginning.

So I started a blog.
This blog, in fact.
Why? For a couple of reasons. First is accountability. I am not ashamed of that totally lame reason for starting a blog. I need to be held accountable. I need to remember why I decided to embark on this journey, and I need to tell my friends and family about it so as to be held accountable. I need people to ask me, "Cass, how's the training coming?" I've got to have something to say to people when they ask, yes? Accountability. "Well, I rode my bike 15 miles this morning, that's how training is coming". No bike ride = nothing to say.

Another reason for starting the blog is to provide a means of supporting myself. When the last thing I want to do is get out of bed at 5am and bike 15 miles or haul to the pool to swim 30 laps, I need to be reminded that I am doing this for a reason. That I am doing this because I was inspired to do so, because I am (albeit indirectly) helping people that I care a great deal about, and because I want to. How do I remind myself? By going back and reading my posts. Reading your comments. And writing new posts.

So to begin. A bit about my decision to race. Wait, before that. It should be noted that it was not just my decision. It was our decision, as Joe and I are doing this together. We certainly have some overlapping reasons for deciding to race, but as I cannot speak or think for Joe (even though sometimes I try real hard), I will not attempt to present or represent Joe's process or progress as we commence this adventure.

Inspiration number one is Sarah. My Best Lady. My Golden Girl. The jam on my toast and the jelly between my toes. She participated in her first triathlon last summer. She also raced with Team in Training, raising $2k for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. She called me a few hours after finishing her race, bringing me to tears with her own sobs as she dubbed that Sunday the greatest day of her life. She raced for her dad. The man that left Sarah's world before she entered into mine. I did not know him, but he helped bring the most beautiful girl I know into being and I am eternally, irrevocably and unambiguously grateful for that. So I swim for Sarah.

Inspiration number two is a birthday cake. This sounds a bit strange. But. One of the first times I experienced the death of one of my peers, I was in 9th grade. KI lost a 14 year battle with Leukemia during the second semester of our freshman year of high school. We met in 6th grade. She moved to my neighborhood and my mom encouraged me to befriend her. I thought it was weird that she still played with Barbies. 11 year olds were NOT supposed to play with Barbies. I don't remember when I found out that she had cancer. I think I knew from the get go. After a few 'playdates', I got the courage to ask her about her thinning hair. She told me that she'd been sick since she was born. She explained to me about her bad blood. She told me about chemo. She showed me all of the scars from surgeries and needle pokes. And she did all of this with a big, gigantic smile on her face. I asked her if it hurt. She said yes. I asked her if she felt tired. She said sometimes. I asked her how she managed to get through it. She said birthday cake. When she was little, her parents started a tradition that, for each year of her life, they'd add another layer to the birthday cake. When she was old enough to understand just why her parents celebrated (extra-special celebrated) each of her birthdays, she began to also look forward to the birthday cake. Not just because cake is delicious, but because she recognized what it meant to her parents. She began to see another layer of birthday cake as a symbol of her perseverance. She just barely saw 14 layers. Over the past 11 years, I have grown more and more awe-inspired by the life of KI and her profoundly sunny outlook as she fought with an opponent that could not be beat. And so I bike for birthday cake.

Inspiration number three is Reid. Talk about putting up a fight. Reid is the reigning champion. He looked cancer in the face and said "Not me and not now". He stays in the ring. Puts up his dukes. And gives leukemia the old one-two. Through the fight, Reid smiles. So from Boston I stand in admiration of this most amazing fight, and with a smile, I run for Reid.

So those are my three reasons. My three inspirations. When mornings suck. When my legs hurt. When I am tired. When I really just do not feel like it. I can look back at what I have written and remember why I made this decision. I can remember the photo of Sarah and her dad in a doonbuggy and I can remember playing Barbies with KI and I can remember Reid rocking out in a fake heavy metal band and that's what will get me through the rough morning or the long week or the last mile.

Hold me accountable. I want to do this.